Brain, stop making me dream about Zenos...

Hello 2024! It's Christmas Eve today and I am popping in to say that well... I have not started a dream log on here after all. I wish to do better in 2025. I also plan to revamp several of my websites to bring them up to date and reflect my aesthetics more true and closer to myself.

Thank you for sticking with me all these (quiet) years.

Hello!

I'll be using this officially to log in my dreams, thus this will become a dream log.

They might be long and elaborated. Or, they might be short and incoherent.

It's been a whole year since my last blog entry. I think I may just use this space as a dream log?

I am still super into Final Fantasy XIV, haha.

Sometimes I think about the time I lost the grandma I only knew and instead of sadness or grief, I just feel hate. Not towards my grandma, but towards some of the relatives from that side of the family. My mom's side.

It's true that my family was not as close to grandma as much as they were. We grew up in California and these relatives grew up with grandma in Minnesota.

They have a different---a deeper, if you will, relationship with grandma. But that doesn't mean my family didn't have a relationship with her. We made a lot of memories with her when we moved to Minnesota and have some fun times together.

But when she pass, and my family was grieving, these relatives I mentioned... I overheard them saying why was my family so sad? And that we weren't even close to her at all. It wasn't said out of sincerity but of malice. I heard it so clearly.

I just... how can you tell people how to grieve? Just because you were closer with grandma, doesn't mean we aren't allow to grieve and cry.

Mind you, myself and my siblings were kids at the time. The youngest being around 8 years old.

As soon as I heard that, I did stop crying. Not because they were "right". But because I got angry.

To this day, I still don't like these relatives. They're still the same and are super entitled. As if no one can get on their level. No family is perfect, but these people genuinely think they are. And I truly do hate them.