Sometimes I think about the time I lost the grandma I only knew and instead of sadness or grief, I just feel hate. Not towards my grandma, but towards some of the relatives from that side of the family. My mom's side.

It's true that my family was not as close to grandma as much as they were. We grew up in California and these relatives grew up with grandma in Minnesota.

They have a different---a deeper, if you will, relationship with grandma. But that doesn't mean my family didn't have a relationship with her. We made a lot of memories with her when we moved to Minnesota and have some fun times together.

But when she pass, and my family was grieving, these relatives I mentioned... I overheard them saying why was my family so sad? And that we weren't even close to her at all. It wasn't said out of sincerity but of malice. I heard it so clearly.

I just... how can you tell people how to grieve? Just because you were closer with grandma, doesn't mean we aren't allow to grieve and cry.

Mind you, myself and my siblings were kids at the time. The youngest being around 8 years old.

As soon as I heard that, I did stop crying. Not because they were "right". But because I got angry.

To this day, I still don't like these relatives. They're still the same and are super entitled. As if no one can get on their level. No family is perfect, but these people genuinely think they are. And I truly do hate them.

How has your summer been? Mine has been slow going, given the COVID19 pandemic, KV and I have been staying in.

Also, guess what?? We both adopted a kitten! We chose the name Demi, base on the gravity magic spell from FINAL FANTASY series but you can associate it with the singer too cause Demi always wakes us up in the morning with her vocals. I’ll share some photos soon!

Ordered takeout sushi from a nearby restaurant earlier and ate too much food… I am still so full even though it has been a few hours already now. I actually dozed off on a 10 minute nap shortly after too. I am surprised I was able to wake myself up and did not nap longer than I sometimes do (2-4 hours…).

My work is switching to a whole new operating system soon and so I spent the past few days learning the system. It has been a mess though :damn: The testing website in not fully functional and any questions sent to the support team ended up mostly ignored. It has been frustrating but I am trying to be understanding— we’re all learning it together, so I shouldn’t be too upset

Anyway, I picked up my replay gameplay of Final Fantasy VII again on my PS Vita. I think I stopped the gameplay early 2019, but I want to start writing up materials for my Aerith shrine soon! Admittedly, Animal Crossing New Horizons is taking up most of my free time :sweat: It’s just so soothing and talking to my villager friends gives me such a warm feeling. I am trying to breed some hybrid flowers right now. Why are purple flowers taking forever?

I have been wanting to blog quietly on a separate space from my social media handles for a while now… just ranting on about small mundane things, haha. I’m glad the fanupdate script comes in hand for it :energy:

It is close to midnight now, so I should head to bed soon… but first, some Animal Crossing: NH !